Tired of Smiling.

Hadn't you seen me change,
From these past few days?
I had begun to live,
Getting out of my usual ways.

I had begun to notice beauty,
In nature as well as human
I had begun to smile,
That wasn't a sight common.

I had finally realized
I had finally understood.
The zeal had come back,
Although you no longer could.

So, I sufficed myself
And lo, I found all new distractions.
But of course, nothing lasts forever
For someone long abandoned.

I don't like the blame game
So (as yet another change) I take charge.
Tempting as it is, going back there
I know it is all farce.

I have tried, and you have seen me at it
I have even overcome the difference
But these situations keep repeating
And history catches me mid-sentence.

But, this happens, right? With everyone.
Ups and downs, highs and lows
That's nothing new
With every mistake, you grow.

But, a hopelessly lost person
Can't find his way out
Even though he has once been there
He cannot say things aloud.

And I hide, I hide myself
Or, at least, I try my best to.
I am happy, genuinely
But, I need some rest, too.