Smoke Sans the Fire

In a disarray, stuck,

I can't move forward

nor backward.

I look back and I only see trial.

Trial and more,

to be perfect enough

to be accepted,

to be loved without the betrayal.

Have I been so pathetic,

did I ask for too much?

Had a smile so genuine

not made me happy?

Did I not do my best,

did I show too much unrest?

Hadn't I been there,

Always supportive?

You still want that

And I can't help but stay,

But think about me,

how much can I keep giving?

Even a reservoir so full

needs to be fuelled

by the river through the dam

forever running.

I ask not for sympathy.

I just crave for affection.

Don't the plants die

if you don't show love and harmony?

I gave away my oxygen

breathing in your despair,

I'm lost and intoxicated now,

my crescendo seems a parody.

I don't know what made me

want you so badly

I don't know 

what makes me, still.

The very imagination of

an other somebody

shatters my dreams,

the shards subtract infinity to nill.

I'm empty inside,

you're drunk from me;

But this glass is brittle,

a slight of your fingers, and it breaks.

It's been far too long

and the hollow within

is eating up my love;

my desires are burnt, my dreams ablaze.

A lengthy story, tethered on a pier,

all that remains now is smoke sans the fire.

Organic Chemistry

The cold on the surface
no longer penetrates.
How dry can
dry ice be?

I was melted once,
frozen thrice,
wafted away
in disguise.

When I met the one
that completed me,
you said you
wouldn't be able to breathe.

I was named,
a million adverse effects;
most abundant
my lease.

I am aerated.
I am fizz.
Yet no longer
does my carbon cease.

I am compounded,
within so confounded.
Yet, up to no avail
does my dryness ease.

Soundless Eyesight

The sun that set

the hopes inside,

night descended on

dreams in daylight.

A hymn that echoed

especially for her,

unheard it went;

soundless, her eyesight.

Pouring herself 

into despair,

The cup so full, 

she couldn't drown.

The liquid murk that enveloped,

was within, not around.

When the night

slipped away

and the brightness

blinded,

she turned her gaze

towards the mirror

that reminded.

And nothingness greeted her

with a knowing smile.

Before she could see anything,

she'd have to travel a million miles.

Unrequited.

It's like you're talking into vacuum
and expecting a reply.
It's like an incomplete song-
no music, just a rhyme.

Each breath of mine, is for him.
And he breathes free.
Seems like I've lived only for him
to someday accept me.

Looking into those eyes,
my entire world, I see.
A part of him and a part of me,
together, a different entity.

Being beside him
is my greatest bliss.
While in his mind,
he awaits an other's kiss.

The cruelty of feelings-
like a slow knife, it kills.
I feel like never feeling again;
swallow a desensitizing pill.

Yet hopes flicker
on a candle molten with time.
The flame burning out,
possibility merging with grime.

...And the dusty piano
plays a consistent music composition
without a rhyme.