She has chosen.

They say she needs to let go.

She asks herself why.

They say she needs to move on.

She asks herself why.

They say she needs to forgive.

She wonders if she needs to forgive herself or others.

They say she needs to live life.

She wonders what the point is.

They say she needs to make friends.

She's skeptical about what true friendship means.

They say she needs to socialize.

She doesn't like it.





She knows she has to choose.

She's always had to do that.

And it's never been easy for her.

But she's finally chosen.




She needs to spread out her wings of hope and fly.
She needs to befriend herself and accept things right.
She needs to strike a balance between reality and illusions.
She needs to overcome the difference.
She needs to know and believe in what she wishes for.
She needs you in any way. She just needs you.

The November Rain

(Composed on November 11, 2009)

Yearnings in the wind that blows
Cool drops and warm drops seeping through
Some the rain, some the tears
Over and over again, yearnings for you.

Here pours down the November rain
The cold and the wet atmosphere
Chills and thunder hand in hand
The warm and the wet tears.

A drop falls upon my palm
I wonder if it's a tear you shed
Or a ruthlessly hurt heart
In November that bled.

Here pours down the November rain
The cold and the wet atmosphere
Chills and thunder hand in hand
The warm and the wet tears.

A thunder rolled through grey clouds
A chill ran down my spine
Lightening flashed its shiny teeth
Lending the moisture on my cheeks a shine.

A broken heart lay stuttering
The same name over again
A few blisters of a burned dream
Still stung with the pain.

Here pours down the November rain
The cold and the wet atmosphere
Chills and thunder hand in hand
The warm and the wet tears.

Yearnings in the rain that pours
Cool drops and warm drops seeping through
Some the rain, some the tears
The November rain pours for you.

A Father to Fill the Void?

I've never felt it and may never feel
The love of a father, a father for real.
Never in my thoughts so far had a doubt formed
Somewhere, maybe it was always there deep down.

All I want is someone who'd care
Who'd hold me in their arms and whisper,"I'm there".
A father who'd advise and share thoughts wise
A father who'd kiss my forehead and my tears wipe.

All this while I never felt I'd need him
Always believed I had everything.
And all of a sudden when I long
I'm guilty; I've questioned the love of a mother strong.

Why do I need him now?
To fill a void left cold since time long?
Or is it just an emotion-the same
Manifesting in a different form?

Of Dealing...And Needing.

The orange sunset leaves me in a blue mood. Strange- according to the colour-theory, they complement each other.

It's time I headed back to my health-food. My hostel. The days(3 weeks, to be precise) I spent back home weren't exactly exciting...But things here felt like addictions. Some like indulgence.

I noticed, that whenever I came back, those voids called out to me. The corners in my house...They all held memories. The window sill, the computer area...Almost every corner held some memory. And they reached out to me. And, the worst part, if you may call it, is that I succumbed to them. I fell back into the voids, still finding my comfort. A strange sense of satisfaction in self-pity.

And then all of a sudden, reality breaks down on me. Now I have to get back to the hostel in a day. And I dread it. I abhor it. I want to defer it. Indefinitely.

I wonder if I should try not coming back as much as possible. But then, that would be avoiding things I must deal with altogether.

It's tough...

And...I still need that person in order to need myself.