Tired of Smiling.

Hadn't you seen me change,
From these past few days?
I had begun to live,
Getting out of my usual ways.

I had begun to notice beauty,
In nature as well as human
I had begun to smile,
That wasn't a sight common.

I had finally realized
I had finally understood.
The zeal had come back,
Although you no longer could.

So, I sufficed myself
And lo, I found all new distractions.
But of course, nothing lasts forever
For someone long abandoned.

I don't like the blame game
So (as yet another change) I take charge.
Tempting as it is, going back there
I know it is all farce.

I have tried, and you have seen me at it
I have even overcome the difference
But these situations keep repeating
And history catches me mid-sentence.

But, this happens, right? With everyone.
Ups and downs, highs and lows
That's nothing new
With every mistake, you grow.

But, a hopelessly lost person
Can't find his way out
Even though he has once been there
He cannot say things aloud.

And I hide, I hide myself
Or, at least, I try my best to.
I am happy, genuinely
But, I need some rest, too.

This hasn't happened before!!

Yeah, the title sort of compels you to read this post, right? :P

Anyway. proceeding to the actual post.




The first thing I noticed were those interested eyes. (Or, that's what I thought). Then, the shirt. Then, the black, shiny, acoustic guitar.

What else would you want?



At first, I thought it was attraction. Then I got to know I was getting involved. And then, maybe, just MAYBE it could have been love at first sight. (With the guitar, of course! :P).



That's the thing that hasn't happened before. Love at first sight. (Sounds sort of...erm...cliched....for me, at least).


Part 2:

I've tried diverting my mind a lot of times. Even, acknowledging people who claim to like me (I don't do that normally, until I like them, too). But it has all been in vain. Was it because I hadn't tried my best or was it because I was going too fast (Nah, probably not) or perhaps 'Destiny'?

But, one thing had remained constant. All this while when I was trying to make space for others (who probably never deserved it), I felt as though I was cheating.

But this time, THIS particular time, I don't feel so. This particular time, I feel good. Dreamy, even. Happy. Yes, happy.


Part 3:

But, nostalgia strikes. And there's one thing I realized and one thing I decided.

You can be happy even in thinking of the past, provided you WANT to be happy.

From this day onward, I will never let anyone, ANY damn person or thing, or word, affect me as much as it did.








P.S: I'm not sure anyone would understand this post, but who cares? :P I'm writing for ME, right?

Helpless

It's past midnight and the doors
Of my vision I haven't bolted.
Still in deep thoughts, I'm unable to sleep.

I close my eyes and those
Images and words cluster around
the periphery of my subliminal vision.

Aeons have flashed by and days have crawled
That face, so bright, still veils itself
That voice is now no more than a vestige of my imagination.

Weeping has become a luxury
I'm beyond shedding tears over and over
Hidden dreams make space for hidden sorrow deep down.

I smile, and truly, too; but the night
entertains its regular visitors of salty water
And I drown, as deep as ever
And my own self can never save me.

The Chosen One

He was a poet in prose
A carnation among the rose.
His silence said a thousand words,
His tears beneath that unmoved veil never showed.

As bright as the Andromeda,
His eyes, they shone when we smiled together.
Today, a thousand miles apart,
We still remember those exact words regardless the weather.

He was The One,
Faraway Pluto's shining sun.
His conversations were a nightingale's symphony,
Touched with nature's harmony.

Oh yes, He is away today.
But these eyes still shine whenever He smiles.