Hurt

Those words that you said
They hurt a lot
Albeit tears I didn't shed
Tears were all I'd got.

You were rude but you didn't know
It was all probably unintentional
Yet I love you so
Loving you for me is conventional.

Yes, even the way you hurt is beautiful
And all the tears I don't shed well up.
You will realize someday, I believe as a rule
Someday you will realize when I'd have given up.

A New Dawn

I look at a fallen leaf on the street
It makes me feel lonely and sad.
I look at all the other people who are happy while they sleep
And it makes me feel jealous and bad.

I look at the rain lashing on my window sill
It creates ripples of confusion in my mind.
I look at the wet muddy puddles
And they allow my muddy thoughts to grind.

I long when I see the azure sky
I long when I see sandy long deserts.
I wonder where among the Earthlings I lie
When would heal these hurts.

Then I see a form in my mind and my thoughts begin to cease
As bright as a star (when only one is shining in the sky) I see you and me.

You and me, lying together
On the very wet grass be-dewed by the same rain.
You and me, moreover,
Sharing thoughts of the same plane.

I see you, smiling with your eyes
And crying with them at the same time.
I see you, stretching out your hand
And interlocking it with mine.

Then it dawns when I realize
I'd seen my reflection in a mirror with my eyes.

The rare times I miss friends. :(

No, I wasn't in love with you
But I was close to falling for you
You were brilliant as a friend
But you left me at the end.

Don't know why everything now
Seems so empty, devoid, somehow
No late night text messages
No reassuring calls for ages.

You'd helped me so much in despair
And always promised you'd be there
Then what made you do this
You made me, a dear friend, miss.

I won't ask you to come back for me
But just know, I'll always treasure our friendship for years to be.

Lets see where whims lead to.

I intend to write something, but I don't know what.

Lets see where whims lead to.



Sometimes I wonder if you'll ever be back. I don't know that for sure, I don't even believe in that completely; yet I keep longing and waiting.

Not patiently.

Not even impatiently.

Then there are those moments where I feel we were doomed ever since the start. But these spells don't last long. They are just times when I get hopeless and fed up.

I try substituting others for you. That works for a brief, very brief moment. Then I realize it's impossible. You have always been irreplaceable. The moments I spend with your prospective substitutes are nothing when compared to what I spent with you.

And anyway, I lose all those prospective substitutes in some way or the other, tending to they being fed up of a despicable me. I'm intimidating, they say.

This brings me back to square one. And back to missing you.

And then you show up, armed with a very few words, all of a sudden. As if reminding me you still exist. But somehow, I know I already know you still do. (Yeah, that sentence seems confusing, but you'll get it sometime).

So, even though I try stepping forward on this battleground called life, I am thrown back by the vicissitudes to my earlier position. Why? How? I don't know. Or is it just me?

Yeah, probably, it's just me.






P.S. Even my whims lead back to square one. =/ Vexing.