A little gesture, a huge smile

It happens all the while. The smallest of things can make you smile and the smallest of things can make you cry.

But, right now, I'm into the good things, the happy moments- For a change.

This happened last year. I don't remember the month or date, but I do remember the ambience.

It was like we were in a secluded Buddhist temple. Ancient faded paintings on the walls, a slightly crumbling ceiling, and the whiff of air conditioning.

We were at Moksha, a restaurant that boasted of burmese and thai cuisine.

That was the first and so far, my last time there with my mom.

There was a guitarist in the restaurant. And I go bonkers when I get a mere glimpse of a guitarist playing his instrument.

He came over and asked what song I wanted to be played.

My first reaction was that of elation and gratification. I asked if he could play 'Californication'.

But he hadn't heard of the song.

In the end, I had to suffice with 'You're beautiful'. He played it on his acoustic guitar and sang along with it. It was beautiful. It was as if all my senses had gone off and all I could feel was the excitement of someone being played a song to.

I'm mad for guitarists, I can't control my excitement when I come across one. And here was a professional, playing a song solely for me.

Later on, he played a song for someone else. A song that is very special to me. 'Tum ho toh'. And I wondered why I hadn't asked for it. But the point is, he played it and I could hear it.


That was one of the best moments of my life. I had been glowing with a smile that lasted right up to the next day.

That's what I call 'A little gesture, a huge smile'.

I couldn't even thank the guitarist for making my day. But I'm quite sure he would've understood it by my reactions.

Never.

I just want you to know that I never recovered and might never recover. Although I might appear to be mended, I shall forever hold that darkness, clutch it close, closest to me, because that was what remained with me when everything else shattered. It was my alibi. It was my only companion when you left.

You're still here with me, yet not totally with me.

It's not that I can't stay without you being mine, it's just that I can't stand being without the knowledge that you believe in us.

I'll remain impaired with your mere memory and try to suffice my yearnings with the mere thought of your voice, of your smile...

The Path Of Patience

(Composed somewhere during the November of 2008)

Your voice is the Sound of Music
Your smile is the Panorama of the Seven Wonders
Your presence, though not constant technically,
Is felt in every breeze, every thunder.

With the sunrise, I've begun rising
Just to have a glimpse of You in the dews upon the leaves.
With the sunset approaching
I've begun believing that only Love is true, Love is beauty.

Every second passes with immense pain
Each day takes decades to end
Then a new day begins, and though I am closer to You
Hopefully; I realize, Life is but a house on rent.

Knowledge gained dictates Life is mortal
Yet I believe and want to prove that
When Life is mortal, it is Love
It is this Love that passes on; Love is immortal.

Our stay on this land may be limited
But the horizons would ever keep expanding
We may one day cease to exist
But the footprints of togetherness shall ever keep reforming.

Alone

Stumbling on wood
Darkness engulfing
Twilight evanescent
Moonlight twinkling

She ran hitherto
Finding voids
Muffled screams
Searching voice

Turning around the corners
She reached the middle
A silent prayer
Faith belittled

Yet nothing in sight
Calmed the yearning
Nothing forever
Hope burning

Then at last
A voice was heard
Among the bushes
A lone shepherd

He whispered a tale and told her to believe
"Alone you are and forever alone you will be."