In a disarray, stuck,
I can't move forward
nor backward.
I look back and I only see trial.
Trial and more,
to be perfect enough
to be accepted,
to be loved without the betrayal.
Have I been so pathetic,
did I ask for too much?
Had a smile so genuine
not made me happy?
Did I not do my best,
did I show too much unrest?
Hadn't I been there,
Always supportive?
You still want that
And I can't help but stay,
But think about me,
how much can I keep giving?
Even a reservoir so full
needs to be fuelled
by the river through the dam
forever running.
I ask not for sympathy.
I just crave for affection.
Don't the plants die
if you don't show love and harmony?
I gave away my oxygen
breathing in your despair,
I'm lost and intoxicated now,
my crescendo seems a parody.
I don't know what made me
want you so badly
I don't know
what makes me, still.
The very imagination of
an other somebody
shatters my dreams,
the shards subtract infinity to nill.
I'm empty inside,
you're drunk from me;
But this glass is brittle,
a slight of your fingers, and it breaks.
It's been far too long
and the hollow within
is eating up my love;
my desires are burnt, my dreams ablaze.
A lengthy story, tethered on a pier,
all that remains now is smoke sans the fire.