A Year Went By

A year went by
And I didn't realize
How far I've come
Or how back I've retreated

I didn't realize
Which moments were happy
And which moments
Tore me into pieces

I didn't understand
Where I was headed
I didn't understand
What was needed

I couldn't fathom
The ripples and waves
In the sea of thoughts
Decorated with forgery's laces

I couldn't bring myself
To face acceptance
I couldn't take what was happening
As my mind enjoyed a long recess

A year went by
And the pages were written upon
With rhyming words
Confusion and frustration manifested

I couldn't understand
What was real, what fiction
Right out of my head
Words were battling in races

An year went by
And I didn't realize
How the time went so fast

A year went by
And I stood still
Right up to the last

A year went by
And I stood still
With the memories that passed

A year went by
And I stood still
Torn apart.

Childhood Days

It was my childhood days
I was blind, I was little, I was a child
I had it all my way
With my dreams, with my friends, a clear blue sky
I used to fly away
Sometimes alone, sometimes with mates, I soared
It was those carefree days
All together, birds of a feather, in sunny May

Then all of a sudden
Beasts of burden
I grew up, I grew big, I grew old
All those endless games now friendless
A memory tight to hold.

It was those funny days
Playing pranks, playing jokes into the night
I still had my way
Dominating, empowering, leader in sight
They always did as I said
While in playing, conversing, manipulating
I never felt guilty anyway
They were happy in following

Then all of a sudden
Beasts of burden
I grew up, I grew big, I grew old
All those endless games now friendless
A memory tight to hold.

We might never meet again
But we have it, in our heartbeat, deep inside
Eons have passed away
Now we smile when we think of those fights

We'll always remember
The same long feather
Of childhood that we shared
A long bed time story
Sweet distant memory
Something forever that will last.

(December 30, 2009, Wednesday)

All these months that have passed
Have hung on skies low
Never a clear blue
Always hazy, laden with sorrow.

They've mended me, they've broken me
They've helped me grow
From inflicting imagined pain
It has also let seeds of joy sow.

Between what has passed and what remains
I walk empty streets lighted with the moon
During starry nights I have a crowd of visitors
They listen to me and lullabies croon.

Then come those lonely hours
That are a bit too long yet end too soon
Where I yearn for people that may never
Even show themselves in stark noon.

Memories break on the shore of the mind
Crashing on the rocks formed with time
They pull me up into exhilaration
And succumb to hysteria on the sides.

I play games with myself
Enjoy losing out to the stranger of me
Letting him take control
Letting him act out free.

Where do these months lead up to?
Realms yet darker and dreamy?
Perhaps they have a ray of hope
But would I want to see?